Astringent Existence
by Tic-Tac2
Summary: An interesting ficcie by me about the Animorphs back in the 1800s (during slavery) - yeah, you guessed it... R/T! Again! Rated PG 'cause there might be fighting later on *hint hint* Please R/R!
1. Chapters one thru seven

Disclaimer: I do not own Animorphs. The books, or the T.V. show. But I do own this idea! So don't take it! *Growls* By the way, this takes place in the 1800s in America, so there is mention of slavery. I don't mean to offend anyone in any way, but if I do, or did, I apologize. I'm just writing what comes to my head! Really! Please don't get mad at me! Please? Well, with all that said… I hope you enjoy my story!

Astringent Existence

                                                                                    Story By Tic-Tac

Chapter one

"And this," Rachel Berenson said, "This is the letter T." She jabbed her finger pointedly at the letter written carefully on the handkerchief.  Illuminated by the flickering candle, each letter seemed to be engulfed in shadows. The flame shivered and stood still. Cassie looked away, almost in tears.

"I don't know Miz Rachel, I don't know." She said. Rachel sighed and tugged at the collar of her dress in annoyance.

"Cassie, I'm not 'Miss Rachel'. Call me Rachel. And you _do _know. You can learn. Think of it Cassie! You and I, together, off this wretched foundation. We could be free! I wouldn't have to be so polite to everyone and act proper, and you, Cassie, would be free of slavery!" Rachel glanced at the barn door and fidgeted with the hem of her dress, counting the stitches to pass the awkward silence. Cassie looked at Rachel, wide-eyed.

"But, Master…" She started, shaking, "He whips slaves who go against his rules." 

Rachel daintily waved a hand to dismiss the matter. She sighed again, heavily, and stood up, brushing the hay from her stockings. She helped Cassie to her feet, folded the handkerchief, and stuffed it into her pocket. She flattened the creases on her dress and turned to Cassie with a frown.

"Listen," she said, "Father won't whip you. But he will if he catches us in here. So, off to bed now. I'll see you tomorrow." Rachel said. Finally, both girls parted with smiles and a quick hug. Rachel sighed, "One day Cassie. One day we'll both be free." Cassie smiled hopefully. Her face shining, she sprinted lightly towards her quarters near the cotton fields without making so much as a whisper.

Rachel lifted up their makeshift table – an old, smoothed log – and placed it in the corner of the barn. One of the horses gave a snort of surprise as she passed. Rachel put a finger to her lips and stroked the horse lovingly. The mare quickly calmed and Rachel grinned, parting the horse's mane with her fingers. She rubbed her hand down the mare's copper-colored coat and patted her nose gently. Finally, the horse dozed off again.

More quietly this time, Rachel picked up the flickering candle and moved her hands away from the melting wax. She absentmindedly pushed a lock of golden hair from her face and moved down the barn corridor, picking up her feet and listening for noises other than the soft breathing of the horses around her. 

As she crept silently along, Rachel watched the candle, free and independent, acting of it's own will, and its own will alone. She sighed and clutched her hands angrily.

"Why can't I be like you?" She asked the flame in a whisper. It didn't answer. It just continued its strange and eerie dance; slowly eating away at the wick, bite by patient bite. Rachel cried inwardly.

She was so proud of Cassie, so happy in the presence of her friend. Her only true friend. But Cassie was black, whilst Rachel was white. That made a world of difference. It was a barrier that seemed as strong as a brick wall. They were two young girls yelling on each side, only heard because of little cracks in the wall's surface. Why it had to be that way, Rachel didn't know. All she knew is that it had been that way before she was born. Before her grandparents were born.

It was a tradition Rachel was willing to disobey for her friend.

Rachel, with cautious steps, slowly climbed the creaky stairs. Her bare feet, slick with sweat, slid on the wooden steps.

Slavery was horrible enough, but why also enslave women too? Rachel was angry once again, thinking about her father's request. No, not request. Order.

_Why should I marry? Because you said so?_ Rachel thought, glaring at her feet. _I don't even love the boy! You just want me to marry him so that you can get richer! Why should _I _comply?_

But, even with pleading and begging, she couldn't stop her father. Rachel had thought about running away, but what would she do? What could she do? How could she leave poor Cassie to be beaten and whipped by her father? No. She couldn't. She would have to stick with it and wait. Rachel wasn't known to be a coward. She wouldn't become one now.

Dosing the flame of her candle with her hand, Rachel slipped quietly into her bedroom. She closed the door behind her, breathed a sigh of relief, and blew out the candle. The wick still burnt with a reddish glow. 

One day she would escape from this place. She would escape to the north with Cassie, and they would be free together. They would be friends that could only be parted by death. Not by injustice.

If only Cassie would become literate. Rachel knew that if they got to the north, Cassie would have to declare herself free. Which would mean court. A place of justice. Cassie's case would be much quicker and easier if she could learn to read and write. Much quicker…

Rachel balled her hands into fists. 

Those Yankees better let Cassie do as she pleases.

"We'll soon be free, Cassie, we'll soon be free."

Chapter two

Rachel woke up when she heard knocking at the door. She sat up, leaned back, and pulled the covers over herself protectively.

"Come in." She said with a yawn. A middle-aged black woman stepped into the room, her hands folded over her stomach. Her black hair was pulled into a tight bun and she walked in carefully and quietly. Rachel felt a stab of pity. She quickly forced a smile.

"Hello Maggie," She said, smiling. Maggie gave a quick smile back.

"Mistress, your cousin is arriving soon. Master has asked to get you ready for his arrival." Maggie said. As she picked out a dress for Rachel, Rachel felt happiness she hadn't felt in a long time. She loved her cousin Jake very much. They had formed a special bond over the last few years, always telling each other secrets and sharing stories behind their parents' backs. She couldn't wait to see him.

Finally, Maggie abandoned her search and held up a light blue dress. Rachel grinned, trying to hide a grimace. She liked the dress all right, but one cannot wear a corset without feeling trapped. She sighed and stepped in front of the mirror. Another day, another dress.

Rachel swallowed her pride and allowed Maggie to help her get ready for Jake's arrival.

"You look as perdy as a picture, Miz Rachel," Maggie said finally, lacing up the top of the corset as carefully as she could. She gave one last pull, and skillfully tied the laces together. Rachel bit her lip and tried not to cry out in pain.

Maggie walked over to the dress, picked it up, and unfolded it. For the last touch, she slid it over Rachel's head. Rachel thrust her arms through the slits at the sides and smiled at Maggie. She was glaring at her inside. Rachel knew it wasn't Maggie's fault that she had to wear the wretched corset, but she had to blame someone. Could she actually hate her own father?

_Yes, _said a voice deep down inside her, _yes you could._

Sighing, Rachel turned to Maggie.

"Thank you for your help. I must continue to get ready before I come downstairs. May I ask what time my cousin is scheduled to arrive?" Rachel asked politely.

"Noon, miss. He should be arriving at twelve o'clock sharp." Maggie gave a last curtsy and rushed out the door, closing it behind her. Rachel picked up a comb and brushed her blonde hair, allowing it to spill down her shoulders in a natural wave. As soon as she finished detangling all the knots and snarls in her hair, Rachel put on her shoes and rushed out of her room, looking at her clock as she sped past. Her stomach gave a strange flop of excitement.

Jake was due to arrive any minute.

As soon as Rachel stepped into the hallway, she slowed her pace and strained her ears to listen for any sign of her cousin. Just as she was about to begin her descent down the stairs, she heard a familiar _clop clop_ of horse hoofs on gravel, and the creaking of wheels turning in their midst. Rachel grinned and raced down the stairs, across the porch, and out into the driveway. She recognized her cousin at once.

"Jake!" She called, waving her hands frantically. She saw him turn his head. He gave her a grin and walked over to where she was standing. He gave her a hug.

"How have you been, Rachel? I have waited all week to see you! My very favorite cousin!" He said, winking at her. Rachel rolled her eyes then looked around to make sure no one saw her acting 'unladylike'.

"Fine, thank you." She said happily, "I'm glad you came, I was bored out of my wits," She whispered in his ear. He laughed then turned around.

"Rachel, have you met my friend Marco?" For the first time, Rachel noticed a short boy standing behind Jake. He had dark skin, dark eyes, and dark hair. Rachel must have looked surprised, because Jake leaned closer and whispered in her ear.

"He used to be an indentured servant. He was an immigrant to the United States when he was just a little boy. But," Jake said happily, "Now he's free to live with his father and mother. They got him out of working." Rachel heard relief in his voice. Suddenly she longed that she and Cassie could be free like Jake and Marco.

Marco stepped forward and held out his arms. Rachel looked at him strangely.

"What?" He said, "No hug for me?" Rachel and Jake laughed. Rachel shook his hand.

"Nice to meet you, Marco." She said, grinning.

Chapter three

"Hurry boy!" Master yelled, beer bottle in hand. Spit flew from his mouth and drenched the boy with saliva. The boy wiped his hand across his face, leaving a dirty smudge behind. Master advanced, holding the bottle above his head threateningly. Laughing, he pulled the cork out with his teeth and gulped down more whiskey, swaying and laughing like the maniac he was. As the boy sped out of the house, he could hear Master whistling and singing a tune off pitch.

Sighing, the boy picked up a broom and began to work, sweeping and dusting the barn corridor.

_How long Tobias?_ He thought, _how long have you worked for this cruel master?_

Tobias shoved the dirt and dust out into the grass outside the barn. As he did so, he fingered the coins in his pockets. He only received a few pennies for his manual labor, but he did get paid. It was better than being a slave.

Tobias thought back to his mother. He did that often. He had become a servant for her. For her he had wasted his life. He drooped and kept working, back straining and feet aching with fatigue.

His mother and himself had lived a peaceful life when one day, Tobias's mother developed a deadly disease. Only later did he find out that she was slowly dying from cancer. Without a healthy legal guardian, Tobias had been forced to work for a living and earn his pay until he was an adult. Eighteen years old.

_Just four more years,_ he thought sarcastically, leaning on his broom. Tobias didn't know how much more he could take. Four years… that seemed like an eternity.

He had thought of running, but what was the use? Master had bloodhounds that could find him within hours of his escape, and then Master would be awaiting him back at the house. Waiting to punish him.

Not to mention Mother. She needed him, especially now.

It was no use.

Tobias brushed his dirty-blonde hair out of his eyes and covered his face with his hands. He breathed deeply and looked at his work through his intertwined fingers. He pulled his hands away and perfected everything, and walked into the house cautiously. He spotted Master easily, shouting, yelling and stomping inside.

"M-Master?" Tobias said slowly, "I finished." He cringed, waiting for a blow of any kind. Master just laughed and slapped him on the back.

"Good job boy!" He yelled enthusiastically, "Good work. Yes, great job!" He swayed, drunk, and handed Tobias two copper pennies. Tobias nodded and took advantage of Master's good mood.

"Master," He said hopefully, "May I take a break?" Master nodded and his head flopped down on his chest and snored. Tobias shrank back in disgust. His breath was the dull, putrid stench of alcohol that Tobias smelled so often, and he hated it.

But for once, he was thankful that Master got drunk.

As quietly as he could, Tobias walked passed Master toward the kitchen, stopping only long enough to hear his breathing, short and shallow.

From off the table Tobias grabbed some bread and cheese, and even managed to drink a cup of cow's milk, a rare treat for the boy. He drained every last drop and stuffed the bread and cheese into his pant pocket. He pocketed the cup also. He had no intention of staying here until Master woke up.

He was going to explore.

Tobias crept to the door and quietly opened it. The breath of summer air felt good and warm on his face. He breathed it in and sighed. The air was sweet and kind to his worn-out body.

Tobias made sure Master was still asleep. He was. Tobias's heart gave a strange flop. He knew his master would severely punish him if he found out Tobias had left, but Tobias felt it would be worth it. It would be worth it to go out and explore the world he grew up in and be free for a while. Free to make his own choices and decisions.

Tobias took a deep breath and ran down the road away from the miserable, disgusting place he called home.

Chapter four

They all sat down at the table out on the lawn. It was a gorgeous lawn of freshly trimmed grass and spongy moss. When she was little, Rachel would run and run on the grass, pretending she was a unicorn riding the clouds. Of course, that was a long time ago. Still, Rachel liked to think of the grass as a special, almost sacred place where dreams come true. 

Or, in this case, where dreams were shot down and buried.

There were nine guests at the family reunion.

_Or not-so family reunion, _Rachel thought bitterly, sipping her tea and glaring at the person beside her beneath her hat. Her lip curled and she clutched her hand under the table. She hated him thoroughly and wholly.

And yet, he was to be her husband.

Rachel's mother and father both had praised and admired him, saying how handsome, smart, and charming he was. Rachel saw nothing in him. Nothing at all. She found him to be nothing but a show-off and a snob. Not to mention conceited.

Rachel's father stood up and smiled. Everybody stopped talking and drinking, and turned their attention to him.

"I have gathered all of our family here today," He smiled at the man sitting next to Rachel. She had to stop herself from gagging as her father went on, "To announce the engagement of my daughter, Rachel, to this wonderful man, John. I give them all my blessings, and let this reunion be a merry one!" He sat down, and everyone clapped. Rachel clapped too, trying to hide the look of pure hate that crossed her face. She shot a forced smile at John. He smiled back, obviously pleased with himself.

Rachel managed to continue breathing. Her throat felt dry and stopped up, and she swallowed to keep her voice from cracking. She saw Jake send her a look of confusion. Of course he didn't know. She had never told anyone how much she hated John, not even Cassie.

No one would understand how it would be to marry John. He was older than her, by at least six years, and he was self-centered and greedy. Rachel glared at her tea, wondering what her father was thinking, marrying her to a grown man at the age of fourteen.

_Well, _she thought, _I'll be married at the ripe age of fifteen. _Rachel shuddered at the thought of having children. She was strong, but not strong enough against John's brute strength.

Rachel got up, smoothed down her dress, and pushed in her chair.

"Father," she said, "I'm going to take a walk. I need to think about wedding preparations. Don't worry, I'll be home before dark." She saw him nod his head. As Rachel walked slowly across the lawn, she felt a hand on her arm. She spun around and was face to face with John. She set her jaw and smiled grimly.

"What? What do you want?" She said, almost harshly. John smiled.

"Rachel, Rachel," John said, "Did I say I wanted something? No, I was just coming to escort you on your walk."

"I would like to be alone, thank you."

"Oh, really? Evening is not a safe place for women. Especially attractive, young women." He said, pulling Rachel close to him and stroking her golden hair. She grabbed his arm and smiled, hiding her anger beneath.

"I can take care of myself." She said firmly. She narrowed her eyes. She let go of his arm and walked away, eyes burning with hate. John didn't follow her. He shrugged and went back to the table full of chattering guests.

As soon as Rachel was out of sight of the guests and the lawn, she began to run. She kicked off her shoes, put them underneath a fallen log, and ran barefooted down the lane, not knowing where to go, or where she would end up.

Chapter five

Tobias pulled out his bread and began to nibble at the crust. It was mostly stale, but it tasted better than most of the rations he had eaten. He tore off a bite-sized piece and threw it into his mouth, chewing slowly and savoring the taste in his mouth.

As he walked down the road, he saw a pathway forking off the road into the forest. It wasn't a deer trail; there were no tracks. No, it was manmade, but it hadn't been used in years. Moss and leaves littered the trail. Curious, Tobias swallowed the last of his bread and slipped through. He put his arm in front of his face to shield from the thorns suddenly scratching at his clothes and arms. As he made his way through, he realized that instead of growing darker as he expected, the pathway opened up into a little grove and sunlight shone down on him, warming his entire body. Tobias smiled and looked at the cloudless sky. A hawk flew overhead, screaming loudly. 

He pushed some hair out of his eyes and focused on the bushes around him.

He grinned, walked over to the nearest one, and plucked its fruit and plopped it in his mouth. He chewed it, and the sweet juice spilled from the berry and ran down his parched throat.

Tobias closed his eyes and tried to remember the last time he had eaten a ripe blackberry. It seemed like forever to him.

He reached out to pick another berry.

Chapter six 

Rachel ran until she could run no more. Finally she stopped, heart pounding in her ears, sweat drenching her forehead. She pulled the sleeve of her dress to her head and wiped the moisture off, breathing heavily.

She bit her tongue, willing herself not to cry out. If someone found her this far from her father's plantation, she would be marched right back without even a say in the matter.

Rachel began to walk along the road, wringing her hands. Although it was sunny and quite warm, Rachel felt cold and clammy. She wrapped her shawl tighter around her shoulders and walked on.

All of a sudden, Rachel stopped and heard voices. The voices were gruff and deep and they were coming closer. Rachel's heart stopped in mid-beat. It started to pound wildly as adrenaline rushed into her system. Rachel heard the sound of a whip and the creaking of a cart. The voices grew nearer.

With all her remaining strength, Rachel sprinted down the road, her feet occasionally stinging from rocks that lodged themselves between her bare toes. She kept on, heart pounding and lungs gasping for air.

As Rachel rounded a corner, she saw her escape. A little path laden with sticks and brambles lay before her. Her heart surged with hope. She remembered this path. She had traveled it many a time with her grandmother, hoping for ripe, sweet, blackberries for blackberry pies. 

Without a backwards glance, she ran through the thorn bushes with her arm over her eyes. Rachel's skin and clothing were the perfect targets for the thorns, and many grabbed at her as she swept past. However, she didn't slow down, but ran full speed out into the clearing.

But Rachel, overcome by longing for a better life, kept running. The tears that were held in for so long squeezed out of her eyes, lids closed. Her breathing came in little, short gasps.

All of a sudden, she hit something solid. She tumbled to the ground and hit her forehead on the hard dirt. Dazed, Rachel tried to focus her eyes, and found herself staring into the eyes of a boy leaning over her. The boy rubbed his forehead and squinted at her.

"Are you hurt Miss?" The boy asked, looking concerned, "You took a nasty fall there."

Rachel tensed up. She stood up tentatively, and brushed the leaves from her dress. She glared at the boy, as if he did something wrong.

"I'm fine." She snapped, "Now if you'll leave me be." Rachel took a step forward and shivered, suddenly cold. She wrapped her arms around herself and turned back to the boy and held out her hand apologetically. He seemed nice enough.

"I apologize," Rachel said, "I wasn't watching where I was walking." The boy grinned and shook her hand.

"It didn't seem like you were walking," He said, looking at her with piercing blue eyes. Rachel stiffened and pulled her hand away.

"I…I," she sputtered, backing up. The boy smiled at her and brushed some dirty-blonde hair out of his eyes. He looked thoughtful.

"You know," he said, suddenly serious, "We're both here for the same reason."

"How's that?" Rachel asked sharply.

"We're both here to get away." The boy looked at her and grinned.

Rachel was startled that he knew that much. She just looked at the ground.

"What's your name?" She asked suddenly, plucking some grass and pulling it up by its roots.

"Tobias. Yours?"

"Rachel." She looked at the sky. It was beginning to grow dark with every passing minute. For the first time, she noticed that the boy, Tobias, had very thin, shabby clothes that looked like he had been wearing them all his life. He caught her looking at him, and she flushed, embarrassed and ashamed. How could she be so upset with her life when Tobias was probably living in this very orchard? Tobias gave her a small smile.

"I'm an servant," he said sadly as if he were reading her mind, "My mother developed a deadly disease, and I've been working for a master all my life to earn money for doctors. They say I'm a servant, but my master treats me like a slave." Tobias lowered his eyes to the ground.

"What are you doing here?" Rachel asked cautiously, trying to allow Tobias some dignity.

"My master was drunk. I thought I would explore a bit, and then I stumbled upon this orchard. And then, well, you stumbled upon me." He looked at Rachel, a smile playing across his lips, "I don't mind. I could use some company."

Tobias looked at her, "You?"

Rachel choked on her words.

"I, well," She began, "I'm getting married." Tobias looked at her in amazement. He scratched his head.

"Well, congratulations." He said flatly. Rachel glared at the grass and began to rip it out in clumps.

"No, it's not like that," Rachel said angrily, "My father wants his money, and I absolutely hate him. Besides, he's about six years older than me. I guess, I guess I'm frightened of him." She sat down on the ground, picking at her dress absentmindedly. Tobias kneeled next to her.

"Oh." He said, "That's pretty rough."

"Yes. Listen Tobias; don't tell anybody anything about what I just said. Please. You're the only one that knows." Rachel pleaded.

"I won't tell a soul." He said, smiling at her, "Nobody will ever know." Rachel glanced at the sky. It was getting darker, and instead of a warm breeze blowing, a cold wind chilled her to the bones. She needed to go, and yet, she wanted to stay. She wanted to stay and talk to this boy, to tell him everything. To find comfort in him.

But she knew it couldn't be. 

Rachel stood up and brushed her long hair back behind her shoulders. She and Tobias just stood there for a minute, watching each other. Tobias smiled a slow smile.

"I'll see you around Rachel," He said, eyes locked on hers. Rachel nodded.

"Where?"

"Right here. Same time tomorrow. Will that work, Miss?" Tobias asked, smiling.

He held out his hand, and Rachel shook it.

Chapter seven

Tobias trudged down the road, kicking stones as he passed. That girl, Rachel, she was so beautiful. Like an angel. But she wasn't helpless, not at all. Her husband-to-be didn't deserve her. Nobody did.

Tobias remembered how Rachel had looked at him. She had trusted him, like they were old friends just stopping by to say hello.

His heart gave a strange thump. Then he remembered. She was getting married. He was mad at Rachel's husband-to-be. How could he marry a fourteen-year-old girl when he himself was in his twenties? What kind of person did that?

_A very rich person, _Tobias thought, answering himself.

Finally, Tobias got onto Master's gravel road. Instead of heading towards Master's house, Tobias followed a small pathway to a little cottage not far away. As he reached the house, he carefully opened the door and stepped inside. He heard labored breathing in the gloom.

Tobias reached out in the darkness, struck a match, and allowed the flame to move on to a candlewick. The candle's flame provided just enough light so he could see his mother. Tobias reached out and gently touched his mother's arm.

"Hello Mother," He said, squeezing her hand tenderly. Loren opened her eyes and gave him a smile creased with age and fatigue.

"Tobias," She whispered, cupping his face in the palm of her hand, "My boy."

"Did the doctors come to see you today?"

Loren sighed wearily, "They can not do anything to stop the cancer. I am dying." Tobias's eyes filled with tears. He looked at the floor.

"I'm sorry Mother," He said, tears glistening in his eyes. Loren smiled again.

"Don't be Tobias. Don't be. You've been wonderful to me. I wish I could have been a better mother, but the cancer… it is sapping my strength." Loren closed her eyes in suppressed sorrow. Tobias walked over to a corner of the small cottage and retrieved a chair. He set it down next to his mother and held her hand, praying, hoping she could get better soon.

When his mother drifted off into a night of slumber, Tobias sank to his seat, unshed tears glistened in his eyes.

"Don't leave me Mother. Don't leave…"

Sorry for the cliffhanger… *hehe* I think I've got the story figured out… hmmm…. I'll post the next chap a.s.a.p!

        


	2. Chapters eight thru nine

Chapter eight  
After Tobias left, Rachel tucked her dress underneath her and sat, her head in her hands. She sighed halfheartedly and ran her fingers through her hair tangled with brambles and sweat. As she undid the knots, she thought of the boy who she'd met just minutes before. Tobias. She smiled and pulled her hand away from her hair.  
  
What's so special about him? Rachel thought, standing up and picking a juicy berry. She found no answer to her question.  
  
Slowly she walked toward the exit, twirling the blackberry in her fingers. The juice spilled across her hands. It almost looked like she was bleeding.  
  
She was: from the inside. The very thought of her Fiancé tore her apart, and she bled. With hate, resentment, and fear.  
  
How ironic.  
  
Soon Rachel made her way down the dusty road. When she reached the place where she hid her shoes, she pulled them out of their hiding place and slid them on her feet. Frowning, Rachel walked back to her house.  
  
So as to not draw attention to herself, Rachel went around her house, disappearing in the shadows. As she slipped unnoticed through the forest bordering her property, Rachel saw something strange blended into the environment of the wood.  
  
It was a cottage - a little log cabin. Rachel studied it closely and saw an old road leading to another cabin.  
  
Curious, Rachel crept closer, keeping in the shadows. After studying them for a while, Rachel came to the conclusion that they were abandoned houses. They definitely looked the part. Derelict, dirty, and mossy, the cottages looked like they had been without owners for years. They were a sorry sight.  
  
Crunch! Rachel jumped as she smashed a piece of glass into the ground. Looking around, she noticed that there was glass everywhere, shining on the overgrown grass. Rachel bent down and picked up a sliver, holding it between her fingers. It had a strange, dreary scent.  
  
Finally, Rachel stood up and began her walk back to the plantation through the small wood, stepping carefully to avoid making a sound. She didn't want to be caught here. Not in this part of the forest.  
  
As soon as she stepped into her father's property, she relaxed. Rachel tiptoed quietly towards her large, white-painted house. It was a really beautiful, elegant home, but somehow, it made her feel horrible, thinking of Tobias living in a home where nobody wanted him, when she could have such luxuries.  
  
He was a very nice boy - to nice to be treated like an animal trapped in a cage.  
  
All of a sudden, a noise echoed through the trees. Rachel turned around, ready to run, when she saw a man stumble forward in front of her, obviously drunk. Rachel squinted, trying to make out the man's appearance. She didn't recognize him in the darkness.  
  
It was hard to tell, but he seemed to be wearing rather nice, clean clothes. Except for the fact that he was drunk, he could have been a host at some sort of party.  
  
Rachel backed away from the man and slowly walked backwards away from him. He didn't seem to notice her, or he just didn't care. Rachel still couldn't see his face, for it was hidden in shadow.  
  
Rachel couldn't stand it any longer. She turned and ran out of the forest, only to arrive right on the front porch of her house. She let herself in and shut the door behind her quietly.  
  
"Where have you been, young lady?" Rachel spun around just in time to see a scowl appear on her mother's face. Rachel lifted her chin defiantly and looked her mother straight in the eye.  
  
"I was on a walk, Mother," she said, brushing off some dirt on her dress. Her mother looked suspiciously at the stains and dirt on her dress.  
  
"Rachel Berenson. Not only have did you come home alone without an escort, you came home filthy! You ruined a perfectly good dress with blood stains!"  
  
"It's not blood. It's berry juice." Rachel said coldly.  
  
"Don't you use that tone of voice with me, Rachel. You know what I want to hear."  
  
"And that is?"  
  
"John. Why wasn't he with you?" Her mother asked, crossing her arms. Rachel clenched her fists upon hearing his name.  
  
"I wanted to be alone." She said coolly, "if you'll excuse me, I need to get my rest. That walk tired me."  
  
Rachel walked out of the room, and her mother gave a long sigh. She too went upstairs to her bedroom.  
  
Once inside her small bedroom sanctuary, Rachel changed into her nightgown and slipped beneath her covers, pulling them over herself for warmth. Try as she might, Rachel couldn't stop thinking of the conversation with Tobias earlier that evening. She then realized with a start that she was actually looking forward to seeing him.  
  
There was just something about him.  
Chapter nine  
The next day, Rachel waited all day for the time when she would see her newfound friend. She was impatient all day, always glancing quickly at the clock. The only part of her day that was not filled with thoughts of Tobias was during the middle hours of the day when she went outside and had a picnic with Jake and Marco. Rachel found Marco to be somewhat annoying, but she enjoyed his company nonetheless.  
  
For the feast on the lawn, Rachel's mother had made biscuits, roasted chicken, pies, fresh fruits from the orchard, and even some cider for a beverage. The meal was delicious, and Rachel enjoyed every bit of it. She even laughed as Marco began to stuff his face full of chicken.  
  
Then, she held out a handkerchief to him. He took it, grinning.  
  
"Thank you, Miss." Marco said, dabbing his lips with it, "I haven't had food like this for. wait! I've never had food like this! It's wonderful. Send my compliments to the chief."  
  
Rachel nodded and nibbled off a bit of biscuit. Her thoughts drifted again, and Jake glanced at her, concerned, as her face went from thoughtful to blank.  
  
"Rachel?" He asked, shaking her arm. She looked at him and smiled.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
Jake suddenly understood. He gave her a grin.  
  
"Oh. I understand, Rachel. You've been thinking of John and the wedding." Jake was surprised to see Rachel force a grim smile and clench her fists angrily. She set her jaw.  
  
"Yes. How did you know?" She lied, spitting out the words venomously. Marco looked at her curiously, but stayed quiet. This was a matter between family members. Marco took a swig of cider.  
  
"Lucky guess." Jake said, dropping the matter. He fingered a biscuit and bit off a chunk, chewing slowly. Rachel tensed.  
  
"What are you planning to do tonight?" Jake asked, trying to change the subject. Rachel relaxed, losing her hostile manner.  
  
"I am planning to go on a walk." She said, picking up her skirt and standing up. Jake and Marco watched her, confused. Rachel spoke again.  
  
"Are you finished?" She asked. Jake and Marco held out their plates and Rachel took them. They took the food inside. Rachel's mother smiled as they came in. Marco shrunk behind Jake, nervous upon being around people he didn't know.  
  
"Was the meal good, Jake?" Her mother asked.  
  
"Very good, Ma'am." He replied, flashing a charming smile. Rachel's mother smiled again.  
  
"Thank you. Now, you three go have some fun." She said, taking the plates from Rachel's arms. Jake and Marco put the food down in the kitchen.  
  
Thanking Rachel's mother again, the three friends walked out onto the fresh, green lawn. They had a great time, laughing and talking and sharing stories. For one moment, Rachel forgot about her bitter life, her astringent existence. She was having fun with her friends; not getting married and helping a slave girl escape from her father's plantation. But try as she might, she couldn't imagine Cassie being there with Jake and Marco and herself. Yet.  
  
Just then, a horrible sight overwhelmed Rachel. John was walking towards her. He was smiling broadly for Marco and Jake.  
  
Rachel clutched Jake's arm. He looked at her out of the corner of his eye. She was shaking and the knuckles on her hand were white. John walked up to the trio.  
  
"Hello John," Jake said, prying Rachel's hand from his arm. John smiled quickly, gave Marco a once-over, and turned instead to Rachel. He smiled and pulled her up. Rachel immediately tensed her muscles. John gently pulled her away from Jake and Marco.  
  
"If you'll excuse us, we'll be leaving your little tea-party now." John said, straightening his shirt. Rachel could only clench and unclench her hands in anger. She tried to calm herself, but to no prevail.  
  
How dare he treat her like this?  
  
"Why do you ignore me, Rachel?" John asked, looking at her sternly once he led her away from Marco and Jake. Rachel swallowed. John sighed, partially annoyed.  
  
"I want you to be mine, Rachel. You know I can get what I want. And I want you." He continued, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear. Rachel closed her eyes and tried to ignore him, thinking of Tobias. Sweet, kind Tobias.  
  
She opened her eyes again and John began again, narrowing his eyes at Rachel.  
  
"You'll be my wife, Rachel. You can't do anything about it. Your drunken excuse for a father is so easy to bribe." John said, smiling and shaking his head.  
  
Rachel glared at him and closed her mouth so he wouldn't hear the flow of words that threatened to escape her mouth. John touched her face with a long, thin finger.  
  
"Not happy with the arrangement? Well, get used to it, Sweetheart."  
  
He pinched her cheek and walked off, leaving Rachel to glare at his back in rage. She bit her lip, breath coming out of her mouth in short, ragged breaths. There was no doubt in her mind. She needed to leave soon. And fast. There was absolutely no way that anybody could convince her to marry, that. that disgusting, wicked man. She sighed and clenched her fists again.  
  
Rachel walked back to Marco and Jake. They didn't see anything, but with one look at Rachel's angry expression, they didn't say anything to her about John. She ignored them and sat down, her head in her hands. Marco and Jake glanced at each other, but left Rachel alone.  
  
Soon, the sun began to set, the wind blowing in the trees. Rachel stood up, wrapped her shawl around her shoulders, and walked off, ordering Jake to tell her father that she was going on a walk. Jake nodded and watched her retreating back.  
  
He went inside to deliver the message to his uncle. { A/N: Sorry about the cliffhanger, it's just that I have two other stories I'm in the middle of and. *slaps forehead* I have sooo much to work on right now! I have to work on the other two, too ya know! :) *hehe* well, I'll keep working. I have a plot! Go me! Yay! Love you guys! } 


	3. Chapter ten

Chapter ten

Jake walked down the hall of Rachel's large mansion, followed by Marco. For some reason, they had become inseparable, the best of friends. It was strange, almost illegal, to be best friends with a 'colored' boy.

But, Jake didn't care about that. Marco was his friend, and that was how he liked it.

Suddenly, as he was walking down the hallway silently, Jake heard frantic whispers coming from the kitchen. Holding his breath, Jake looked through the keyhole. His mother and his aunt were speaking softly, glancing around as if they didn't want to be overheard.

Jake turned to leave.

"I hardly ever see him…" Rachel's mother said, kneading some dough.

 "Yes… never here. Is Rachel upset?" Jake's mother agreed, shaking her head. She began to slice a potato vigorously. 

"I don't know. She's been very distant lately… something about John."

Jake leaned in further to hear.

"Could it mean something?" His mother asked, looking thoughtful.

"What?"

"Maybe Rachel is really in love. She's probably worried about the wedding, though. The poor dear… What does your husband have to say about it?" Rachel's mother fidgeted and looked up at Jake's mother.

"I told you. I scarcely see him. He's always off doing this or that. I never could get it out of him – he was very unclear. I do hope he's not gambling…"

"Where is he now?" Jake's mother asked earnestly. Jake's aunt shrugged and continued to knead the bread.

"How would I know? He's probably off drinking with his friends again. That's what he was doing yesterday before the reunion," at this Rachel's mother clucked her tongue, "he came home a mess. I had to clean him up. He said that he fell asleep. Bah! The man needs to keep track of the time."

At this Jake's mother shook her head in agreement. Her counterpart continued, muttering to herself, "always coming home late… drunk, I suspect. Some nights he doesn't come home at all. Years, I tell you! Years! I haven't had a good nights rest in that long, waiting for him to march himself through that door, finally wearing a sorry expression on his face."

Jake's aunt sighed and rolled the bread dough. Jake's mother looked at her, concerned.

"Should I get you some more flour, dear? The dough's sticking."

Jake jumped back as his mother came through the kitchen door and looked at him in surprise.

"Hello, Jake," she said, smiling, "where's Rachel?"

"She's on a walk. Mother, could you tell her parents? She wanted to be alone."

"Sure. I'll do that." Jake's mother smiled at him and continued down to the pantry to get some flour. Jake turned to Marco, who was staring at him in confusion.

"What was that, Jake?" He asked. Jake lifted up his hands in exasperation.

"I don't know Marco. I just don't know."


	4. Chapter eleven

Chapter eleven

"Tobias?" Rachel whispered. It was dark, but still light enough to see. Rachel spun around as the bushes rustled behind her, breathing heavily. She clasped the log underneath her in fear, her knuckles turning ghostly pale.

To Rachel's relief, Tobias appeared out of the thorny brush, not the horrid pictures of monsters her head had created. Her heart leaping with joy, she jumped up and smiled, extending her hand.

Grinning, Tobias took it gratefully, pulling himself from the brambles. Rachel smiled at him and pulled a thorn from his unruly hair.

"I couldn't wait to see you…" Rachel began, her face shining. Tobias smiled and nodded, cringing slightly.

"Me too." He said, "I missed you."

Rachel beamed again and pulled Tobias into a tight embrace. Tobias was startled at first, but relaxed into her arms. Rachel smiled and hugged him even tighter. As her hands brushed his back beneath his neck, she pulled back, distressed, as she felt something wet on the back of his shirt. Tobias winced in pain as Rachel looked at her hand. It was covered in blood. She put her other hand to her mouth in a silent gasp.

"Oh my Lord," Rachel gasped, staring in horror at her hand. She looked up at Tobias and he turned his face away. She grabbed his shoulders and turned his head around with her blood-free hand; "Tobias? What happened to you?"

Tobias didn't say a word. Rachel shook him gently, "Tobias, please tell me." A tear slid down her cheek and dropped to the ground, shattering into tinier little droplets. Tobias stared at Rachel's bloody hand.

"He, Master…" Tobias started, gasping because of the pain, "he whipped me. Listen Rachel, I'll be fine. I just need to wait for the scabs to replace the cuts."

Rachel looked passed him at the trees and bit her lip, "you are no slave."

Tobias bowed his head, "I am aware of that."

"Yet," Rachel whispered, "You are treated like one. I am also treated like a slave, in a sense – I am not willing to marry, but I am forced to. A very good friend of mine is a slave because of her skin color. When is this madness going to end?"

Sighing, Rachel carefully took Tobias's arm and directed him to sit on an old, mossy log. She kneeled down in front of him and clutched his hand tightly.

"Tobias, lift up you arms." She demanded, letting go off his hand.

Tobias's skin tingled as Rachel pulled up his shirt, making sure it didn't upset his cuts too much. He shuddered as her cold hands brushed his bare skin. Closing his eyes, Tobias heard a small gasp from behind him.

"Tobias," Rachel started, staring at the bloody streaks and bruises on his back, "I'm so sorry…" Tobias turned around and smiled at her, swallowing the pain he felt.

"Rachel, just seeing you is all I needed," he wiped away a tear from her face and stared into her shimmering eyes. Rachel smiled and blushed, tears drying on her face.

"You don't mean that," she said, whispering in his ear. Tobias grinned and put a hand on her flushed cheeks.

"Do I?" He asked. Rachel laughed playfully and stood up, putting her hands on her hips.

"Tobias, I do believe you are the only one who can answer that question."

"Really?" Tobias asked again, laughing at Rachel's bemused expression.

"Stop teasing me! It's not proper to tease a lady." She said, staring at him sharply. Tobias returned the stare, sliding closer to her.

"A lady, huh?" He said, smiling with his eyes.

"Yes," Rachel breathed softly, lost in his sparkling blue eyes. She moved closer to him. Suddenly, realizing where this was going, Rachel looked down and pulled the shawl from around her shoulders. Keeping her head bowed to keep from looking at Tobias's handsome face, she held her shawl out to him.

"Here," she whispered, "put this on. It'll keep you warm."

She blinked the tears out of her eyes. Why was she so quick to trust him? It was like… like they were meant to be…

Did she want to kiss him?

Yes, she realized, she did. It was just, if she got too close to him…

She was getting married. She couldn't change that.

Rachel looked up at Tobias's face and smiled sadly, taking one of his hands. Holding it between her own, she placed his hand on her heart. Tobias, surprised by this unexpected gesture, looked at Rachel in confusion.

"Friends?" She asked, squeezing his hand tighter. Tobias could only smile, watching her pretty face. He could feel her heartbeat beneath his fingertips.

"Only the best ---," Tobias replied, bowing politely. He looked up again, "Miss."

Rachel smiled and removed their intertwined hands from her chest; "good."

"We'll see each other again, I suppose," Tobias said, picking up his bloodstained shirt and throwing it over his head. Rachel nodded, and tentatively kissed his cheek, "of course."

"Well, then everything's great then," Tobias said awkwardly, blushing furiously. They met each other's eyes and smiled. Tobias held out her woolen shawl.

"Yes, I believe it is." Rachel said, taking the shawl from Tobias and wrapping it around her shoulders.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" Asked Tobias enthusiastically. Rachel tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Of course, Tobias. I wouldn't miss it for the world." They smiled at each other again. Rachel took his hand and held it tightly. She breathed in deeply and sighed. Reluctantly, Rachel let go of his hand and walked out of the small blackberry glade, blinking tears out of her eyes.

Tomorrow couldn't come too soon.

There! Here ya go! Next chap up soon!

Don't hurt me! I love writing; I'll be done soon. It actually pains me to see my stories unfinished *shudders*

Love your reviews! *winks pointedly*

Tic-Tac  ^_~


	5. Author's Notes please read nothing bad

**NOTICE ~ AUTHORS NOTES AND STUFF**

****

Dedicated to a reviewer named Neri! *grins*

Ohh… look! You earned yourself a chapter. *ahem* No, just kidding…

Hi Guys and Gals!

I was getting some questions about what Astringent Existence actually means…

*Looks at Neri*

… So, I'll tell you! It means….

Drum roll please! *bumbumbumBUM*

It means, Harsh/Bitter Life – either one. It doesn't matter, you probably get the picture.

Her life is BAD! Yeah… angst! Horror! Love!

*Coughs*

THANK YOU! ^_^

Tic-Tac ~ ^_^ ~

*hehe* I'm sorry to single u out, Neri… =)

If you have any more questions, email me at dogzcrazy@hotmail.com. That goes for the rest of you too!

Lalalalaaa… *goes off to kill her little brother for no apparent reason*


	6. Chapter twelve

Chapter twelve

Tobias walked down the road, growing more and more watchful was he neared his master's house. It was dark, and Tobias knew that if he were caught out this late, it would be disastrous…

Quietly, he snuck closer to his home. A lamp was lit inside – he could see its light.

Taking a deep breath, Tobias ran to the front of the house (staying in the shadows), and placed a shaking hand on the door. Before he even turned the doorknob, it was flung open. His master was standing there, obviously drunk. He pointed a wobbling finger at Tobias.

"You!" he barked, standing to the side to let Tobias walk past him, "making trouble again, I see." He wiped his hand over his mouth, and laughed. Tobias slid past him. His master glared and pulled his arm, shoving him onto a small chair. He leaned close, and Tobias could smell his pungent breath.

He laughed again, "I could punish you severely, boy, but I have a better idea." With a cruel snicker, he pulled out a piece of parchment from his breast pocket. He waved it in front of Tobias's face mockingly. Then, still grinning, he sat down across from Tobias on a larger chair, and sighed.

"Ah, yes. Better punishment. You see, I have… connections." He laughed again and brandished the piece of paper again; "you do know of the war going on now, right boy? Well, it seems those damn Yanks are giving our soldiers a run for their money!" he pulled a bottle of beer from the floor and took a long swig, "they're asking for more men to fight." Tobias gulped, looking at his master in horror.

"W-what are you saying, sir?" Tobias asked tentatively. His master guffawed loudly.

"I figured," he said, "that if I can't deal with you, then the army will." With another laugh, he pulled out a stack of dollar bills, and looked at them with a smirk playing across his face.

"What do you say?" he asked, holding out the stack to Tobias disdainfully. Tobias looked at the bills in fascination. He had never seen that much money – anywhere. With that amount of cash, he could help his mother… maybe she could be treated with more expertise. Tobias felt lightheaded.

"For me, sir?" he asked, looking at his master. His master burped and laughed.

"That's all you'll be getting, boy, if that's what you're wondering." He looked at Tobias like he was a piece of unwanted trash; "but… it will help your sick mother, and it will get you off my hands. You're too much trouble for what it's worth. Slaves are easier to deal with," he laughed, "where I come from, boy, slaves are as easy to find as beer in a liquor store."

Tobias looked at his master in sudden curiosity, "where you come from?"

His master choked on his beer and slapped his knee, "you actually think that this is where I live, boy? No, this is just a getaway. With you always cleaning the stalls and tidying the house, I don't have to be here all the time. I'm a very rich man where my real house is!" he chuckled, "my wife worries. Calls me crazy, she does! Doesn't expect that I'm only a forest away from her…" he sighed and drank some more, "I needed somewhere to go – a sanctuary. I had no place to drink," he leaned closer to Tobias, "she doesn't like the way I smell afterwards!"

Laughing, his master sighed and smiled, "got myself a pretty daughter too. Pretty, but vicious. She doesn't like to cooperate."

Suddenly, Tobias grew cold all over. Eyes wide, he leaned closer to his master, ignoring his horrible breath, "in what way?"

His master looked at him suspiciously, seeming to break out of his drunken phase, "it's none of your business, boy. Anyway, back to your proposition. I give you this money, you leave, I get the rest of the profit… we're all happy. Now, boy, what do you say?" he held out the stack of money. With trembling hands, Tobias looked at the wealth. He needed it - that was for sure…

But, something held him back… Rachel…

Was she actually his master's daughter? It couldn't be true… it was impossible, absurd…

If he established this offer, then he could help his mother. But, Rachel. He would have to leave her. Tobias sighed in his head, realizing that it would be easier to leave. Tobias loved her, but he wasn't positive that she loved him back. Also, it was illegal and unholy to have an affair with a person that is going to be married, even if it _is_ against his/her will. It would be better if she forgot about him, and he forgot about her.

Gritting his teeth, Tobias blinked regretful tears out of his eyes.

"I accept your proposition," he said, taking the money from his master.

omg. It took me so long to write this chapter. I was sort of at a writers block, ya know… anyways, I know exactly what I'm going to do next. My friend and I arranged an awesome plot, if I may say so myself! ^_^

I hope everyone will be patient. I am actually doing research on the civil war to make this story realistic. *ahem* anndddd… I'm doing a historical autobiography in US History that is set during the civil war… *rolls eyes* too much work! Ahhhh!

Please don't be too mad at me! The next chapter should be up sooner than this one!

Jump over a Yeti.

Tic-Tac  ^_~


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